Why languish in self-loathing when you could learn the skills you need to make the changes you want?
It has never made sense to me why some people invest a great deal of time and energy either complaining about their situation or avoiding taking responsibility, but then do nothing to actually change their situation. What? How is that helpful? Sure, there’s value in emoting and drawing the attention of others to share (vent) our complaints, but very quickly those closest to us will tire of the drama. At that point, the only option is to up the ante (more complaining, more drama, act out) or stew in silence. Neither one is a good choice.
Rather than being stuck in the mire of self-loathing or blaming others for our condition, why not actually learn the skills needed to make the changes we truly want? Most people can learn just about every social, emotional and mental skill needed for health living. It’s simply not rocket science. What it is, however, is a new way of thinking, perceiving, believing and acting. It’s about replace outdated and self-destructive scripts with new, flexible, positive and responsive ones. Think of it like replacing rusted out parts on your car. The old scripts just no longer work.
I truly believe that we all make the best decisions we can with the tools that we have at the moment. This doesn’t mean, however, that they are good decisions, useful decisions or healthy decisions. There are often quite the opposite. But if your tools are outdated and rusted to pieces, they simply won’t get the job done. Period.
We invest in what we care about and in what we want. Taking mental fitness classes is inexpensive ($59 to $89 per month, depending on which support level you choose or $149 for all-the-bells-and-whistles membership) – and really inexpensive compared to all the gadgets and trinkets we purchase and feel we absolutely must have (i.e., think what one iPhone costs). For the same price as a single iPhone, you could take mental fitness classes for a year! And really, which one is more likely to change your life?
This means that investing in yourself is not about the money. We make it too affordable. As you face another year, why not consider seriously investing in yourself first before you pile on the gadgetry? Take full ownership of all that you are and all that you’re not. No more judgment, blame or self-loathing. Just a simple decision to this year the year the you finally come into your own and start the life you’ve only dreamed about.